David Sedaris' "Naked": Cyclops

"Cyclops" is by far my favourite story from the book. Sedaris' father is my favourite of his "characters." He's loving and wholesome, but maintains a few highly questionable parenting methods. In "Cyclops," he's shown warning his children against various "dangerous" actions - driving, setting off fireworks, using a pencil - with grotesque cautionary tales inevitably ending in the loss of life and limb. The children become petrified of the simplest everyday activities, even the ones that their father asks them to perform. It seems he can't help himself - in his mind, the little lies are all for their own good.

Eventually, of course, we learn that Lou was lying to his son about all that - he doesn't even remember telling most of them - and in the end, it seems as if it really did help, to some degree. David even turns the idea on his father, warning him that he had a friend who lost his right arm snapping his fingers at a waiter. Lou turns it around on him, saying one day, his arrogance will kill him. This is a perfect ending to the story, as it sums up the feeling of the piece without seeming too punchliney.